The classic advice for talking to strangers is “fake it until you make it.” As a general rule, that’s good advice. But in this article, we’re going to talk about something better: the art of getting people to like you even when they don’t want to be talked to.
We’re going to teach you how to approach someone without being creepy or awkward, how to maintain a conversation once you’ve started talking, and how to end things gracefully if they go south (without making anyone feel bad).
| Takeaways |
|---|
| 1. Practice active listening to show genuine interest in the conversation. |
| 2. Use open-ended questions to encourage deeper discussions. |
| 3. Maintain good eye contact to establish a connection with others. |
| 4. Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as body language and facial expressions. |
| 5. Find common ground to build rapport and create engaging conversations. |
| 6. Be mindful of your tone of voice and speak clearly. |
| 7. Ask follow-up questions to show your engagement and understanding. |
| 8. Avoid interrupting and let others express themselves fully. |
| 9. Share personal stories and anecdotes to make conversations relatable. |
| 10. Be respectful of diverse opinions and viewpoints. |
1. Think Before You Speak
These days, with our busy schedules and constant access to technology, we are often in a rush. We want things done faster than they can be done and we want answers right away.
The solution? Stop rushing. Take a moment before you speak and think about what you’re going to say before saying it. This will help ensure that your message is clear and easy for others to understand.
It also means not interrupting when someone else is speaking – even if they seem like they’ve been talking forever! It’s fine if there’s silence between your thoughts or sentences; let the other person finish their thought before jumping in with yours (and then offer an apology if necessary).
Finally, being able to ask questions shows interest in what another person has said – which makes them more likely to listen when it comes time for them to talk!
However, don’t make it all about yourself by asking every question under the sun: listening well means knowing when not to follow up on something someone says by asking another question instead of repeating yourself over again (or worse yet – moving on to something else entirely!). In fact…
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2. Know When To Walk Away
Not every conversation is meant to last. Sometimes you need to walk away and that’s okay too. Don’t feel like you have to stick around just because it’s polite or because the person who started talking to you seems like they don’t want to be alone in their conversation.
You’re not going to offend anyone by leaving a conversation, especially when they’ve done most of the talking anyway!
If someone starts talking (or lecturing) at you and it becomes clear that they aren’t interested in anything other than monologuing at their audience, then go ahead and walk away from them!
If someone wants your attention more than what we call “a reasonable amount”, then simply say: “Sorry but I’ve got somewhere else I need/want/am going.”
3. Be Confident In Yourself
Confidence is a powerful tool. If you are confident in who you are, what you say, and how it’s said, then there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that they can trust you. Confidence is not arrogance; it is the belief that what you have to say matters and will be heard by others.
Confidence comes from experience and knowledge of your capabilities as an individual. You gain confidence by taking risks in the first place because if there’s no risk then there cannot be reward or failure either way, so why not try?
If something doesn’t work out as planned then use this opportunity to learn from your mistakes rather than just giving up altogether on yourself or some idea/hobby/activity that could potentially make life richer than before (see point 7 below).
If someone doesn’t like something about themselves then they’re more likely than not going through some kind of low point at that moment in their life where everything seems hard but look beyond yourself for once!
Look around at all the beautiful things nature has created for us humans: oceans full of aquatic creatures living peacefully together under one roof without arguing over petty differences between species (as far as we know).
Or even better yet look up into space where stars shine brightly every night reminding us all how small yet significant our existence is when compared to such vastness!
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4. Learn Their Name And Use It Often
Remembering someone’s name is a great way to make them feel important and special. So, remember the names of everyone you meet.
The next time you introduce two of your friends, use their names in your introduction. For example: “Jim, this is Jennifer. She’s my friend from school.” Or “I’d like to introduce my friends Jim and Jennifer.”
You don’t have to be specific about who they are just that they’re friends or acquaintances and that they should go ahead and talk amongst themselves (or not).
5. Be vulnerable
One of the best ways you can connect with someone is by being vulnerable. When you are vulnerable, it shows that you’re willing to let your guard down and be yourself. It shows that you don’t want to hide who you truly are or what you think or feel.
This can be a great way for people to connect with each other because it allows them to see what kind of person they are dealing with in a very real sense.
You shouldn’t be afraid to show your true self when talking with someone new or someone close to you because everyone has their flaws and everyone makes mistakes in life.
So there is no need for anyone else’s opinion on how perfect their lives should be if they aren’t happy with the way things are right now anyway
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6. Ask Questions – And Listen!
It can be tempting to launch into a long monologue about yourself, but the best way to engage in a conversation is by asking questions. The key here is open-ended ones that start with “what” or “how”.
These will prompt them to share more about themselves, which will help you get a sense of their personality and overall interests. Asking questions like this also lets them know that you care about what they have to say, so it can be an effective way of winning people over.
Another method is asking why someone thinks something they said was funny or interesting (or anything else).
This allows them to explain their thinking behind their comment without making too much of an effort on your end and it shows interest in what they have to say as well!
7. Be A Good Listener
Listening is a skill that you can learn and improve at. It takes practice, but we all can be good listeners.
Listening shows that you’re interested in the other person and their needs, which builds trust.
Listening to what someone says can help you understand their position and why they feel the way they do about something.
Listening helps you learn more about an issue so that you can make an informed decision about how to proceed at work or home with your partner/family members/friends/etc., which leads us into our next section…
8. Practice Conversation Starters
When it comes to practicing conversation starters, there are many different ways you can go about doing so. Here are a few ideas:
Practice with a friend or family member. This is the most obvious way to practice starting conversations, and also one of the easiest.
Your friends or family will be happy to give you feedback on your conversational skills and how they can be improved. You’ll also benefit from having someone else in the conversation because they’re likely to ask questions that wouldn’t have occurred to you!
Practice with a mirror. Looking into your own eyes gives an interesting perspective on what others see when they look at you and sometimes it’s hard for us to keep our thoughts focused on ourselves when we’re trying out new things!
Work with your pet(s). Pets make great listeners; just ask anyone who has ever shared their life story over countless hours spent relaxing in front of the TV together! They don’t judge either – unless food happens into view then all bets are off…
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9. Avoid Controversial Topics
Politics and religion can be sticky subjects that make it difficult for people to listen.
If you choose to discuss these topics, be prepared for a heated debate or rebuttal, which will only make the conversation more awkward. It’s best to steer clear of discussing money, other people, and personal problems as well.
You should also avoid talking about your family members (in general) and exes if they’re still in contact with the person you’re talking with (i.e., not estranged).
These things may seem obvious but sometimes we forget that not everyone shares our life experiences or has seen what we have seen and mentioning them may come off as insensitive or inappropriate depending on how well you know each other already!
10. Don’t Interrupt
One of the biggest mistakes people make when interacting with others is interrupting. The next time you’re in a conversation, count how many times your friend or colleague interrupts you.
Chances are it’s more than once per minute! Interrupting is inconsiderate, rude and can make others feel like they aren’t being heard or respected.
It also makes your speech sound disorganized and rambling if you’re not careful with where it breaks up into different ideas or thoughts.
So how do we avoid this common pitfall? Here are a few tips: First of all, be sure to listen carefully before speaking during conversations especially if someone else has just finished speaking! Be sure to wait until they have finished talking before chipping in yourself;
Otherwise, they’ll never know what anyone else was saying unless everyone talks over each other (which won’t happen at all).
Secondly, nodding your head periodically when someone else is talking shows that you’re listening attentively rather than just waiting for them to stop so that you can say whatever comes into your head (or worse yet: start repeating things back verbatim without paying attention). Finally
11. Compliment People
One of the best ways to make a good impression is by giving sincere compliments. You should be specific and genuine, but avoid generic compliments like “You look nice today” or “That was a great presentation” when talking to people.
Don’t overdo it either – one or two is enough to convey your interest in them without seeming insincere. Here are some examples of compliments you could give:
- “You look great!”
- “I love your shoes!” (this works especially well if they’re particularly stylish)
- “That outfit suits you.”
12. Use Positive Body Language
When you’re in conversation with someone, your body language can be just as important as what you say. Your posture and gestures are a big part of how people perceive you, so make sure to use positive body language when talking to others. Use these tips when talking to anyone:
Look at the other person, Don’t keep your gaze on the floor or somewhere else in the room while they speak. Instead, maintain eye contact with them while they talk and smile naturally.
This shows that you are interested in what they have to say and makes them feel more comfortable speaking with you.
Sit up straight, When we slouch our shoulders forward, we send a signal that shows we feel inferior or shy about our appearance (or both). Sitting up straight gives off an air of confidence and self-assurance that others will notice instantly!
Make deliberate gestures, Movements like tapping your fingers against something (like a table) or playing with objects around us can signal nervousness when used excessively so don’t do this unless necessary!
Otherwise, try not moving too much during conversation; it’ll make it easier for the other person(s) involved to see how focused they were being listened carefully rather than reading through notes while taking notes on their laptops instead.”
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13. Smile! And Make Eye Contact
Smiling and making eye contact is important. If you’re new to a group of people, it’s natural to be nervous, but smiling will help put others at ease.
Also, don’t stare or look away too quickly (as this can make you seem like you’re hiding something). And for God’s sake: don’t look at the floor! Or worse yet at your phone!
14. Help Others Feel Comfortable By Inviting Them Into The Conversation
To help others feel comfortable, you must first be comfortable. The best way to do this is by inviting them into the conversation and asking questions that will make them feel like they’re part of it too.
Ask them about themselves. Ask them about their interests and hobbies, family and friends, or pets whatever makes them smile!
Here are a few examples:
- What do you like to do for fun?
- What kinds of things interest you?
- Are there any interesting facts about yourself that I should know about?
15. Focus On The Other Person’s Interests, Not Your Own
To make a good impression, you need to talk about things that interest the person you’re talking to. I know that sounds obvious, but trust me people tend to focus entirely on themselves when they’re nervous or unsure of themselves.
You can easily avoid this by simply focusing on what interests them and skipping over anything that doesn’t.
If someone asks you how work is going, don’t tell them about your promotion and leave it at that ask them how their week was instead! If they ask if you’ve been busy lately (or something similar), say no and go back to asking more questions about them.
If you feel like there’s nothing left for you to talk about after learning all about their hobbies and favorite TV shows? Then change topics completely!
Ask them where they’re from or what brought them here today instead of continuing with whatever story or subject matter happened before last week’s episode of Game Of Thrones ended last night (if any).
This will keep both sides interested in each other without making anyone feel too uncomfortable or awkward about what’s happening right now at this very moment between us two people who may never see each other again until next time.”
16. Don’t Talk About Work All The Time
You are not your job and you don’t want to be defined by it, it is just one small part of who you are.
If someone asks about what you do, that’s fine, but don’t go into a long monologue about how much you love your job or what a great boss you have, or how much money your company makes.
The same goes for personal topics like family, friends, and romantic relationships.
Don’t talk about the details of any break-ups or divorces unless someone asks first; no one wants to hear about those kinds of events from strangers in social settings anyway (especially if they’re still close friends with your ex).
Conclusion
The bottom line is that you are not alone in your struggles with how to talk to people. It’s a struggle for everyone, and that’s why there are so many different techniques out there!
The best thing you can do is try out as many of these tips as possible and see which ones work best for your personality type.
In time, we’re sure that any one of these methods will improve your ability to communicate effectively with others.
Further Reading
Explore more resources to improve your conversation skills:
How to Start a Conversation with Strangers: Learn tips and tricks to initiate meaningful conversations with new people.
Career Development: How to Start a Conversation: Enhance your networking abilities by discovering ways to kick-start conversations in professional settings.
7 Specific Ways on How to Talk to Anyone Easily: Gain insights into seven specific techniques for effectively communicating with anyone in various situations.
FAQs
How can I overcome my fear of talking to strangers?
Starting conversations with strangers can be daunting. One approach is to practice active listening and focus on common interests, gradually building confidence.
What are some icebreakers for initiating conversations in networking events?
Icebreakers like asking about shared experiences or offering a genuine compliment can help create a comfortable atmosphere for networking conversations.
How do I maintain engaging conversations?
To keep conversations interesting, ask open-ended questions, show genuine curiosity, and actively contribute to the discussion based on the other person’s responses.
What if I run out of things to say during a conversation?
Running out of topics is common. Transition to related subjects, share personal anecdotes, or inquire about the other person’s experiences to keep the conversation flowing.
How can I improve my non-verbal communication while talking to others?
Non-verbal cues like maintaining eye contact, using appropriate facial expressions, and mirroring body language can enhance the effectiveness of your communication.
Costantine Edward is a digital marketing expert, freelance writer, and entrepreneur who helps people attain financial freedom. I’ve been working in marketing since I was 18 years old and have managed to build a successful career doing what I love.