As a general rule, people prefer good news to bad. But if you are the one delivering bad news or are on the receiving end of it what’s the best way to handle it? In this article, we’ll look at how you can share information that is difficult to deliver or receive with kindness and respect.
The coronavirus pandemic has changed many things about how we work and interact with others. Many employees who had never worked remotely before began working from home full-time when shelter-in-place orders were issued in March 2020. As a result, meetings have shifted online and personal interactions have become limited to video conferencing. While technology has made it easier for us to continue working despite social distancing requirements, there’s one thing Zoom calls can’t replace: in-person human connection.
When handled appropriately, bad news doesn’t need to cause damage or hurt feelings. We deliver bad news in our everyday lives all the time; you may have done so recently when sharing something like an inconvenient change of plans or unexpected death, as well as times when employers or co-workers must tell employees about something like a layoff or restructuring of departments.
When communicating bad news through in-person conversations, facial expressions and body language help us get our point across more effectively. However, when communicating electronically during a pandemic that limits human interaction, maintaining sensitivity while delivering bad news can be challenging. This is timely because people will be more sensitive than usual since so much has happened lately. While it can be awkward to deliver bad news, there are some things you can do to make it go more smoothly.
| Takeaways |
|---|
| Effective communication skills are crucial when delivering bad news. |
| Demonstrating empathy and compassion helps ease the impact of bad news. |
| Preparation and planning are essential to deliver bad news effectively. |
| Active listening and providing support are important during the conversation. |
| Maintaining professionalism while delivering bad news is vital. |
| Following up and providing ongoing support after delivering bad news is necessary. |
| Clear and concise messaging helps ensure understanding of the information. |
| Non-verbal communication, such as body language, plays a role in conveying empathy. |
| Acknowledging and validating emotions can help the recipient process the news. |
| Balancing honesty with sensitivity is important in delivering bad news. |
1. Choose The Right Medium
Sometimes delivering bad news can feel impossible. But some people deliver bad news for a living: lawyers, insurance brokers, and doctors. The good news is that you can follow their lead.
In planning to deliver bad news, your first goal should be to choose the communication channel that feels most comfortable for you, an important factor in ensuring you come across as relaxed, honest, and trustworthy. Your second goal should be to think about how your audience will respond to the medium you select as an equally important factor in ensuring they hear what you have to say with an open mind and heart.
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2. Choose An Appropriate Time And Place
Good communication skills are essential for building trust and rapport with others in all areas of life. But when you need to tell someone something that might upset them, it’s even more important to communicate clearly and directly. Don’t deliver bad news in front of other people or interrupt someone who is already distracted, angry, or upset. Ideally, you should look for a time when both of your schedules are flexible and set aside at least 30 minutes so there isn’t pressure on either of you to rush through the conversation.
3. Take Responsibility For The News
Take ownership of the situation, even if it’s not your fault. By taking the blame and apologizing to the person to whom you’re delivering bad news, you show that you’re accepting responsibility for the situation. This will help them understand your side of things and make them more likely to be empathetic towards you.
Avoid blaming other people and making excuses for what happened. It’s tempting to say something like “I’m sorry about this, but there was nothing I could do about it because [person] wouldn’t let me change it.”
First of all, you should never say “I’m sorry about this” when delivering bad news; better to say “I’m sorry this happened” or “I’m sorry that I have to tell you this.”
Secondly, it’s important not to blame other people when delivering bad news because this can turn into a game of he-said-she-said between you and another party. Instead, simply apologize for what happened and explain that you’ll work on a solution together with the person receiving the bad news so that the negative event doesn’t happen in the future
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4. Offer Details, But Not Too Many
As you deliver the bad news, it may be tempting to offer details about what happened and how it affected you or others. This may seem necessary for the listener to have a clear understanding of the situation, but in fact, doing so can do more harm than good.
Regarding your feelings: If you are visibly upset, your feelings will be communicated nonverbally regardless of what you say.
Regarding details: In most cases, people will want to hear enough detail to know that they aren’t being lied to or misled but not so much that they feel like they’re experiencing the same level of pain as you.
The best way to approach this is by asking yourself whether each detail is necessary for the listener’s understanding of what happened. If it isn’t going to help them understand, leave it out.
5. Focus On The Future
The next step is to help them focus on the future. This news is a bump in the road, but it’s not a dead end. Your job as the bearer of bad news is now to be their guide, helping them find their way around the obstacle that stands before them. What are some steps they can take?
- If they made a mistake, what is there left to do?
- Is there another way to salvage their project?
- Can they take extra steps in the future to avoid this happening again?
- What can you do together as a team to ensure this doesn’t happen again?
Finally, define consequences if no action is taken. You’re not being overly harsh it’s important for everyone involved that these consequences exist and cannot be ignored or put off until tomorrow. If nothing changes, then what will happen? Will other projects have to be pushed back because resources aren’t available where they’re needed most?
6. Say “I’m sorry.”
It’s important to include an apology or a sign of empathy when delivering bad news. Saying things like “I’m sorry” or “I feel terrible about this” during the conversation can help you process and move on from what happened. It will also help the recipient of your bad news to do the same.
If you have broken the news to someone over email, try adding a note at the end of your message expressing your regret over their situation and your wishes for better circumstances in the future. This can go a long way toward showing them that you truly care about their well-being, even if things didn’t work out as planned.
7. Prepare Yourself Mentally
To the best of your ability, try to put yourself in a calm and rational state of mind before you deliver bad news. Taking some deep breaths, listening to your favorite song, or going for a walk can help ease you into this state. Remember that delivering bad news will be harder than receiving it, so getting yourself into an emotionally stable place will help ensure that you handle the situation as skillfully as possible.
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8. Prepare For How The Other Person Might Respond
If you know the other person well and can anticipate their response, it may be helpful to role-play the conversation with a friend or colleague beforehand. Anticipating their reaction(s) ahead of time may also help you better navigate their emotional responses when they receive bad news from you.
9. Understand How To State The News
It’s unfortunate, but it’s unfortunately common to have to deliver bad news to friends and family. There are a few simple tips you can follow to make the delivery process as painless as possible with no regrets.
Use plain language that conveys all of the information accurately and concisely. When giving bad news, you want your listener to understand exactly what you’re saying and know what action they need to take. Specific phrasing is key, so avoid using “I’m sorry” or “I’m so sorry.” Instead, use words like “She died” or “He passed away.” The word “died” is acceptable for referring to someone who has died (e.g., “He died at the hospital”), but not for people who are still alive (e.g., “She is still alive,” or “My dog is alive”).
Avoid euphemisms such as saying a loved one was taken by the angels. This word choice is inaccurate because it implies that they went on vacation when they were dead (or moribund). Furthermore, irreverence will not be appreciated by the person you’re telling this news to; even if he/she laughs in disbelief at first, there are likely more somber moments ahead where this joke won’t feel appropriate.
Avoid expressing sympathy with expressions like I would’ve done something different had I been there with him/her/you at the end or something along those lines. Just go straight into what needs doing rather than making assumptions about others’ actions or feelings that may be completely off base from the actual situation at hand.
10. Be Honest And Truthful With The Person You’re Telling
Avoid using euphemisms like “passed away.” Also, avoid clichés like “speak to someone.” They’re overused, so they can come off as disingenuous or even sarcastic. When delivering bad news, be careful of your tone of voice and body language. Don’t use a harsh tone or a cold stare, but don’t try to pretend like nothing is wrong either.
Be careful not to overstate the problem. If you’re telling your co-worker that he forgot to turn in his report on time, don’t exaggerate the consequences by saying something like “your boss will fire us both.” This can create an unnecessary sense of panic or doubt in the situation, which is not helpful when trying to relieve it.
11. Use Body Language To Indicate That Their Feelings Are Not Only Valid But Important
By following some simple guidelines, you can receive and send bad news with the right tone and body language that let your intended receiver know you care.
The first and most important thing is to make sure you let your listener know that they have a right to hear what you’re going to say. The message should be clear: “This is a serious subject.” This can be conveyed through your posture and facial expressions, as well as using words such as “important” or “serious.” It’s also important to communicate that they have the power to change the outcome by letting them know how they can respond.
A good way to do this is to avoid giving ultimatums (such as saying, “[Name] must turn in her paper by [day]” instead of simply saying “Turn in your paper on [date].” While there isn’t much we can do about our users’ emotional states at the moment of receiving news and it may be best for us not to even try, there are a few things we can do when delivering bad news ourselves.
First, we should never lose our cool when delivering bad news. This could happen if someone calls asking for an internship at some point in their life, we tell them they don’t have what it takes, or simply because they’ve come out with a piece of terrible literature that could ruin their reputation forever. When telling people awful things like this, there’s always another option: sympathize with them.
For example, rather than saying something like “[Name] will never amount to anything,” you could say “[Name], I’m sorry that I think that writing such terrible material is going to hurt your reputation.” In doing so, though, keep in mind not only how it makes the person feel but also how it reflects on yourself professionally since these types of comments reflect poorly on both parties involved. Next up are compliments; while these aren’t exactly great if they’re given too often (see: being nice), they can still
Non-verbal communication plays a significant role in conveying messages. Explore the 12 principles of good communication for non-verbal communication to understand how body language, facial expressions, and gestures influence the way we communicate.
12. Use Your Tone Of Voice To Show Compassion And Empathy
In your phone call or meeting, use your tone of voice to show compassion and empathy. Be sure to talk slowly and with a soft, soothing inflection. If you’re giving bad news over the phone, make sure you’re speaking in a well-lit spot with no background noise so that it’s easier for the person to hear what you have to say. If you’re giving bad news in person, make sure you maintain eye contact when talking and don’t cross your arms or legs as this shows that you are closed off from the other person.
13. Offer Help If Appropriate
Offer help if appropriate or ask them if they’d like assistance. You’ll want to be aware of your body language during this conversation. Maintain eye contact and use a calm tone. If you notice the person struggling to accept what’s happening, try to make them feel as comfortable as possible by speaking to them in a soft, steady voice. Avoid moving your arms or hands too wildly; this will only make the situation tenser.
Finally, when you’re all done with your message, ask if there is anything else you can do for the person on the other end of the line. This may help them feel more at ease about their circumstances or let them know that someone cares about their well-being.
14. Offer Your Support
Offer your support while also giving them space to grieve or process things on their own time and terms. Let them know that you’re there to help, but make sure not to hover around every second of the day. If they tell you that they’d like a few days alone, respect their wishes and don’t try to force yourself into their schedule. However, if after a few days have passed and they still seem distressed, check in with them again to let them know that you’re ready whenever they’d like someone to talk with or do something with.
Effective communication etiquette is essential in the workplace. Check out our simple guide to communication etiquette in the workplace to learn about professional conduct, active listening, and respectful communication practices that contribute to a positive work environment.
Final Thoughts
When it comes to delivering bad news, there are plenty of simple ways to do so in a way that doesn’t wound the person you’re telling. Think of it as an art. Think of how we deliver bad news to our friends and family. There’s no need to rehash every detail beforehand, but your level of preparation will determine how well you can communicate your message effectively. Now that you’ve read this article, we hope you feel more confident in your ability to share bad news with others.
Remember these key points: Be specific and concise about the bad news; Allow space for the other person to react, both physically and emotionally; Consider the timing of when you will deliver the bad news; Acknowledge how the bad news may affect other people besides yourself and how they can help or be helped by others through this process, if possible and Prepare yourself for questions about the situation so that you can answer effectively and honestly.”
Further Reading
Here are some additional resources for further reading on delivering bad news:
The Art of Breaking Bad News: Communication Strategies for Delivering Bad News: This article provides insights into effective communication strategies when delivering bad news, emphasizing the importance of empathy and clear messaging.
Delivering Bad News: How to Communicate Difficult Information: Explore this article to learn practical tips and techniques for delivering bad news in a compassionate and empathetic manner, while maintaining professionalism.
SPIKES: A Strategy for Delivering Bad News: This resource outlines the SPIKES framework, a step-by-step strategy for effectively delivering bad news in healthcare settings, with a focus on empathy, information sharing, and support.
People Also Ask
How Do You Deliver Bad News Professionally?
With empathy and honesty. If you’ve made a mistake, be honest about it. If you’re rejecting an applicant for a job, make sure to express how much you enjoyed their interview or application. And finally, if an employee is being laid off, give them some feedback about the good work that they’ve done in the past.
How Do You Tell Your Boss You Made A Mistake?
Politely and honestly. Apologize for your error without placing blame on others or making excuses. Then propose what steps can be taken to make up for any negative impact caused by your mistake, and offer solutions to prevent similar mistakes from occurring in the future.
How Should I Share This Bad News With My Team?
The way you share the news will depend on the specifics of your situation. If you need to deliver it in person, be sure to give people enough time beforehand to process the information and get their thoughts in order.
If you are delivering the news via email, make sure to include all necessary information in the body of the email so that people don’t have to click through multiple links or attachments to see what’s going on. This will help make it easier for your team members to digest when they check their inboxes first thing in the morning.
How Can I Deliver Bad News To A Customer Without Making Them Feel Bad?
The first thing you need to know is, that it’s not about you. Even though you’re the one delivering the bad news, it’s not your fault that it happened. You just have to deliver the news and move on. So don’t make it personal by apologizing or making excuses just state the facts and be done with it.
What If Customers Get Angry At Me?
We all know that sometimes customers can get upset when they hear something they don’t want to hear, but one thing we’ve learned from our years of experience is that getting angry isn’t going to help them in the long run. If customers take their anger out on you, just let them vent about how mad they are. It’ll help them get over it faster, trust us.
Should I Use Social Media To Deliver Bad News?
If you’re going to be sending a lot of bad news out, then we recommend using social media channels as your main source for communication with customers. It’s efficient, affordable, and easy for your customers to use whenever they need to receive information from you.
Should I Tell Someone They Did Something Wrong?
Yes! You definitely should. Unless you have a good reason not to, such as, it’s the company’s fault and not their fault at all. If that’s the case, you can be vague about it or blame it on someone else instead.
Does This Mean I Should Always Be Honest With People?
No! not! Being honest is important, but so is being sensitive to other people’s feelings and making sure they aren’t embarrassed or upset by what you say. So if you have to be honest with someone, try to do it in a way that won’t hurt their feelings.
When Is Humor Appropriate?
Humor can be used in many situations but only if it’s appropriate! For example, if you’re telling someone that they misfiled a report and now everyone thinks the company is going bankrupt, saying something like “This isn’t exactly the news I wanted to deliver,” might be a little insensitive.
Costantine Edward is a digital marketing expert, freelance writer, and entrepreneur who helps people attain financial freedom. I’ve been working in marketing since I was 18 years old and have managed to build a successful career doing what I love.